Pushing on then moving on.

Hi and welcome to my own little space on the internet, I have been blogging off and on for a few years now and thought it was time to have my own site for a change. Its named ray-in-the-middle because my middle name is Ray, made sense to me to name it that.

My blog will be about my life and the lessons I have learned and whatever has been happening in my life, trying to give advice from it all. I also write articles on top ten lists about, my favourite films, song on my iPhone and much, much more; the point beaning that its not all about my life in a way.

Am still learning to fly and control it but am going to try vlogging on the site, trying to control a drone that has a camera on it for different shots and footage, got my iPhone as well for shooting with. Using this time to learn it all, not just the camera but the editing as well.

Learning to let go, to drop my restraints so I can fully enjoy life

It’s been a long year, sadly with more downs than ups but that’s life. I am thankful for the pain, sadness and the lonely nights that I have been through not just this year but through out my life. Am thankful because am hear and alive, I feel like am a better person for it all, its made me look back at everything, not to look back in pain but to learn from it and how to deal with the future; to hand things better.

6 months ago, I went downhill fast and hard, my weight went up just as fast as my mood went down, being a dialysis patient, this was not the way to go but being on the treatment was not a huge help on the soul. I did not care about myself or how that would affect people close to me, for example my mum. She has been great to me and I know I have been a pain to her over the years, not being easy to deal with but she still stood by me, even going through the process for her to give me one of her kidneys. Its been a few months since I stopped using antidepressants and so far, am getting better with life.

I have goals for 2018, going to keep them for myself, might share them on my vlog. At least one goal that will be brought up a lot on the site and that is a huge goal for myself, to get a new kidney, I will be sharing my progress on this goal over 2018 and that means taking photos of myself but not feeling brave to show them on the site but at the very least I would post 2 photos, one of myself now and one when I get on the transplant list.

I really want 2018 be the year that I improve my life in many different ways, how I live my life, how I spend my time but also trying new things. Am looking into something that will test my strength and mind set, don’t want to say yet but if it does work out then it will be on my Vlog and to be honest am worried about it but when I pull it off it would not be a shock if my friends and family don’t believe that I did it. Am glad that am back blogging, it feels great to get it all out. In January I will make this site a .com, been wanting that for years now so why not.

 

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